There are definitely times when our kids as teenagers give us moments where we feel we can't wait for the day they move out!!!!
That feeling will pass almost in an instant, but at the time it may feel real as you are pulling your hair out and feeling you deserve to be treated better.
I have the deepest feeling of grief. It is the only way I can describe it, grief. I know it's only been a couple of days but I still expect her to come home. It still feels like she may be at a friend's place or her boyfriend's and she will be home.
Yesterday I cleaned the floor in her room and anything else that needed cleaning in there because, as you can imagine her younger sister is so excited to be getting a bigger room. I am happy for her too. She has been cramped in quite a small room for years and as the last few years have passed and she has taken up guitar, and draws and fills a journal a week, reads a lot, has a big sports bag for karate etc etc her room is disappearing. She will now have a bigger room and a built-in wardrobe.
I have that feeling some of you may of had before, you wake up and for a moment you are OK then you realise you are incredibly sad about something and cry again.
I really held it together in front of The Eldest. I wanted her to think I was brave.
When I left home at 19 and actually got a plane to leave, mum was so strong, if she hadn't been, as I was falling apart, I think I would of stayed.
The Eldest has a lovely house very close to uni, her boyfriend with her, they both are in the uni course the want, they have another friend moving in this weekend. They have other friends down there and more coming. She already has a casual job she transferred from up here. So I know they will be happy and PLEASE believe me when I say I am so happy for her. I am. But the hurt still hurts. I will miss all the little things like me in bed watching my fave shows and The Eldest sitting on the bed too kind of watching tv but online shopping too. Twenty tabs open, carts full, but not really wanting to spend any money. Planning a snack even though it's close to midnight, laughing at the stupid crap people put on Facebook etc etc, the list goes on
I just wish this grieving would pass quickly. It's a strong feeling of knowing your family will never be the same, We will still be close but the dynamic of the day to day family has changed. That change will be such a big thing.
For those of you with little children don't relax thinking you have forever as I can speak from experience now. It comes SO much quicker than you think it will. Make the most of every moment you have as a family under one roof. Change is imminent
6 comments:
Of course you are feeling sad and lost. It is perfectly understandable and reasonable. Of she goes into the big wide world, and you have done everything to prepare her so she will do well, but now she's not there you will miss her. There will be talking on the phone and computer time, but it does feel like an era is over.
But a new one is beginning. I am sure you will get extra cuddles!!
Take care.
Change is imminent but you have the strength to overcome it!
:)
Have a nice day
www.facebook.com/royalsweeties
It sure is tough that new chapter in your family's life-exciting but not and happy and sad and yes I understand your grief of how things were and the comfort of knowing the familiar. They grow up SO quickly. I am sending you a ((((hug))))
I have the same story as you at the moment, the 19 year old daughter has just moved out with the boyfriend and some friends. I totally relate to the feeling that things have changed and will never be quite the same again, her place at the table is empty, the family dynamic has changed. My strategy at the moment is to keep busy, so perhaps I won't notice her absence as much. Not sure that plan is working.
It's so very natural for you to feel like that Linda - our darling little ones grew up too and life took over.
We have found, to our utmost delight, that it all falls into place somehow. Oh, sure, they're always 'your babies' in your heart, but then they also become beautiful, responsible, adults who bring a whole other dynamic with them. They are caring friends who kindly remind you that they're there for us too, it's not just us being there for them anymore. We take delight in their points of view and wisdom. One thing that doesn't change though, is that Mum's cooking is always appreciated!
I know you're feeling so sad at the moment, but, yes, it will pass and all will be well.
Big hugs xx
[hugs] for you xxx
Post a Comment